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Making Room for “Yes”
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By: Kevin McCarthy
For seemingly forever, ‘No news is good news’ was an unwritten rule of communication. As American women waited for news of their soldier sweethearts, fathers, sons, and brothers, for example, the old axiom provided a small but important anchorage for hope. Rosie might not have heard from Joe for months, but she could resolve to remain hopeful until any news arrived. She could cope by deferring the need to cope: ‘I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.’
The no news/good news equation was violated often enough, but it nevertheless endured as a bedrock assumption. It is, after all, inherently efficient. If I propose something, I can forget about it, resting assured that bad news will come soon enough. When bad news does come, I can get on with other plans, as difficult as that may be.
But ?no news is good news? is becoming pass? because it hinges on the expectation of a response -- a rare thing these days. I blame the culture of spam for much of this social deadening. The presumption
that we can bombard each other with all manner of hype has exceeded a civilized
threshold. For a while it seemed there could be nothing more inane than a beer
commercial, but now we have enlargement idiocy flickering across our screens.
Of course, it’s not just a convenience, but a duty to ignore dime-a-dozen
come-ons. But the habit of ignoring has infected all aspects of our lives, and
that’s a shame. A broadcast pitch seems clearly distinct from something
painstakingly prepared for our eyes only, but often we behave as if we don’t
understand the difference. Worse, we accelerate the erosion of manners by demanding
little of each other. Often we expect nothing at all -- and get it.
When I sent out query letters in the ‘80’s, I received a courtesy
response about 80 percent of the time. These days I’d say the response
rate is 20 percent or less. Much of that is attributable to the rudeness inherent
in the film industry, as I now write screenplays. But the deaf-dumb trend is
clear and undeniable in all fields. Even in book publishing, a bastion of civility,
the expectation of a response is no longer a given.
Film flaks now argue that ‘no news is BAD news’ is a more efficient
guideline, as it cuts down on paperwork. But such rules of disengagement are
unreliable because producers often lose or don’t read what they receive.
I’m often asked to re-send queries, sometimes as many as four times to
the same producer. Thus, a ‘bad news’ policy cannot serve any alleged
meritocracy. The appropriately meaningless ‘no news is NO news’
fills the vacuum.
Unquestionably, freelancers are obliged to be the soul of consideration –
querying first and not sending reams of material, for example. If those standards
are met, a prompt or at least gracious response should be expected. An electronic
‘no thanks, good luck,’ takes about three seconds. But as long as
those in positions of power cannot be bothered with such niceties, the burden
of busywork on artists, entrepreneurs, and job seekers grows exponentially.
And the world gets colder.
The problem isn’t evil intent so much as our inability to deal with what
the Hindu call Maya -- the clutter and distractions of life. We tend to be plugged
into the spewing media cornucopia to such a degree that filtering has become
a primary survival skill. Most of us do it poorly, losing track of who and what
is important.
Many quaint courtesies have fallen by the wayside in our mad rush to rush madly.
Some are easily jettisoned. But others are emblematic of fundamental attitudes
worth fighting for. The real challenge in preserving standards of consideration
is that it requires first looking within.
If we are to once again make courtesy ‘common,’ it’s important
to recognize ourselves as abusers as well as victims. I’ve begun asking
myself who I’m ignoring each day. Bizarre synchronicities have me believing
in a certain ‘query karma.’ I can’t expect responses to my
queries if I am ignoring the queries of others. Ignore and be ignored; embrace
and be embraced.
The next step is to clear away clutter. Taking a machete to the electronic message
jungle can be immensely satisfying. I changed my e-mail address several months
ago and am still blissfully spam-free. The no-call list is another way to reclaim
peace. Lots of other filtering options are available, but they must be actively
applied. There are no truly automatic solutions.
Even for those in a ‘slush pile’ business such as publishing or film production, there are a hundred ways to use policies, procedures, and new tools to manage incoming material and ensure timely responses. This is not just politeness, but creative liberation -- a shortcut to success.
Last but not least, there’s empathy and expectancy. I try to do my homework
and streamline all queries. Then I politely request a response -- even by a
specific, generous date. After all, sometimes the only thing that ensures a
responsible follow through is the expectation of one. Thankfully, good will
is still not difficult to engender, but it does require a certain efficiency.
It’s not too late to reinstate ‘no news is good news’ as a
default expectation, but it will take a collective effort. If the attitude proves
to be infectious, the task should not be daunting. Any degree of success will
allow us to once again anticipate a little more in life -- not perfection, just
evolution. Surely now is the time to remember how to relay the belief that all
is still possible, and sustain the everlasting Yes.
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